How do I accept that my ex has moved on?

Some background, some drama

What’s the only thing harder than getting through the emotional roller coaster that is a break-up? Getting through it when you know your ex has moved on with someone new. Getting over someone you're in love with, who used to be in love with you, is quite possibly one of the hardest things you will ever have to go through in your life.

Do’s and Don’ts

It’s hard seeing the one you loved in the arms of someone new. It hurts like hell. The “How Do I" series tries to list down a few Do’s and don’ts to guide you, help you and eventually accept that your ex has moved on. And so will you one day…

Do’s

  • Take it one day at a time. Know that there was nothing you could have done differently.
  • Leave your ex alone. Whatever you do, don't try to get your ex back. Give yourself time to feel your way through everything. It will get better!
  • Do give yourself time to grieve. Cry if you must. Eventually you will also move on and realize that there are other potential partners.
  • Take care of yourself. The fact that someone left you doesn't mean you're not worthy of love. No matter what happens in your life, you should never stop looking after yourself.
  • Embrace all the little things you love but your ex never cared about. Go and do what you want, when you want. Enjoy the time alone and with your family.
  • Living well is the best revenge. Focus on doing things that make you happy.
  • Show yourself patience and love. See a counsellor and work through your issues with them.

Dont’s

  • Don't cave into the pressure to let go and move on. The hardest thing for others is to understand that there is no timeline for getting through this.
  • Don’t immediately rush into another relationship. Even though you may be hurt and angry, you have to do this alone for a while.
  • Don’t numb yourself with drugs or alcohol.
  • Don’t start binge eating or starving yourself as a way of coping.
  • Don’t let the feeling of hurt over the break-up control your life. Pick yourself up and realise that there is more to life than this relationship that you had.
  • Don’t bad-mouth your ex or any new boyfriends/girlfriends they now have.
  • Don't try to make them jealous by showing off your new partner.it will just make you look desperate and insecure.
  • Don’t stop doing things just because they remind you of your ex. If you have these boundaries in your life, you will not get over your ex.
  • Don’t regret ever having the relationship. Be grateful for the experience and everything that you have learnt from it.

Last words

Sometimes a break up can seem like a rash decision and you feel it was probably a mistake. Even though you might feel this way, your ex could feel completely different and has actually started to move on. And so it seems like this time it's really over. They have found someone else and you're no longer in the picture anymore. You need to get over it.

Sources and citations